It was the 4th of July weekend when I got the call. My younger sister was being admitted to the hospital for strange neurological symptoms. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Tests were ordered. Lab work was conducted. Zoom calls were made to other doctors at bigger hospitals in bigger cities. Eventually, my sister was given a prognosis. My husband and I packed the car that afternoon, uncertain of when we’d come back.
“My husband and I packed the car that afternoon, uncertain of when we’d come back.”
For most of that summer, I learned what it truly means to be a caregiver. My sister’s husband took the primary role while the rest of us helped around the clock—making hospital runs, stocking groceries, cooking meals, and caring for their two kids. Those weeks taught me so much about the heart of caregiving: how it’s both a gift and a responsibility, how it can be exhausting yet deeply rewarding. I’ve felt the same in my postpartum days, caring for a tiny human who depends on me completely, learning patience, presence, and the joy in the smallest moments. Being able to be there for someone you love—whether a sibling, a child, or even yourself as a new parent—is an incredible honor.
“Community care works best as a full-circle system.”
Caregiving isn’t easy, though. Giving up your time and energy can be exhausting and challenging if you’re not receiving care yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, the old saying goes, and all of us need moments of rest and self-care.
Simply put: Caregivers need people, too. Community care works best as a full-circle system—I care for someone, and someone else cares for me, and on and on it goes. So, whether you’re a current caregiver or looking to support someone who is feeling burned out, here are some of the best tips I took away from my caregiving experience. Hopefully, they can help you, too, when you need it most.
1. Prioritize quality sleep
In the first few days of caring for my sister, I ran entirely on adrenaline and coffee—not unlike the first weeks home with a newborn. In both seasons, I’d collapse into bed only to find sleep didn’t equal rest. Sometimes I was up every couple of hours for feedings; sometimes for anxious “Did I miss a call from the hospital?” checks. Caregiving looks different depending on who you’re supporting, but exhaustion feels universal.
Sleep is essential (yes, even when it feels like a luxury), and I’m putting it first because it’s the hardest to access when someone else needs you — whether that someone is in the NICU or attached to you 24/7 with a tiny, hungry mouth.
What helped me most:
- Melatonin on nights when I actually had a stretch of hours ahead of me
- A wind-down ritual, even if it was just washing my face and making a sleepy tea
- Power naps — 10–20 minutes in the backseat of my car at the hospital or on the couch at home with a baby asleep on my chest and a weighted eye mask nearby
- Not forcing perfection — for every night of “good sleep hygiene,” there were two nights of wine and reality TV because sometimes that’s what my brain needed
There’s no gold star for suffering through exhaustion. If rest is available to you in any form — take it.
2. Eat regularly & prioritize nutrient-dense foods when you can
During my sister’s hospital stay, my husband would hand me breakfast and practically walk me to the car to make sure I ate. Postpartum me knows that same overwhelmed resistance: the way hunger disappears under worry, logistics, and caregiving tasks. Eating can feel like one more thing to manage, but it’s also one of the few things that gives actual strength back.
What helped:
- Eating something in the morning, even if I wasn’t hungry
- Taking vitamins and staying consistent with supplements
- Keeping grab-and-go snacks (granola bars, bananas, trail mix) in my bag/diaper bag
- Adding electrolytes to water because sometimes drinking water feels like a chore
- Offering myself grace when dinner was ice cream, or when I realized at 3 pm that lunch never happened
Support systems matter here, too. Meal trains, grocery delivery, prepared salads in the fridge—whatever reduces decision fatigue. When my sister returned home, her community set up meals for weeks, and it felt like a hug we didn’t know how to ask for.
3. Get outside & and look for the small joys
Two weeks into hospital runs, my husband and I escaped to a mountain lake with no cell service. We kayaked, swam, sat in the sun, and for a moment, I felt like myself again. I didn’t realize how tightly my shoulders had been hunched or how long it had been since I breathed without bracing.
Postpartum has mirrored that, too. Those first stroller walks around the block where sunlight feels like medicine and a slow breath feels like a tiny miracle.
Every caregiving season looks different. Some days, joy is a full afternoon outside. Other days, it’s five minutes on your porch with a cup of coffee while the baby naps or stepping onto the hospital terrace and noticing the flowers.
Both count.
4. Allow someone to take care of you
Caregivers need people, too. We say this but rarely live it, especially when instinct and hormones convince us we must hold everything together by ourselves.
When I was helping care for my sister, my husband handled logistics, meals, bills, and every tiny detail I didn’t have the capacity to think about. Later, with a newborn, he did the same—refilling water bottles, bringing snacks, folding laundry, reminding me I deserved rest even when I felt like I “should” be doing more.
If you don’t have a partner or built-in support system, I see you. You deserve help just as much. Consider who in your circle might show up if they knew what you were carrying—a neighbor, a colleague, a local community group. There are caregiver support groups, postpartum support circles, and organizations like CaringBridge that help connect care networks.
And for anyone wanting to support a caregiver:
- Ask what would truly help (or give them a checklist like this Google Form template)
- Home-cooked meals > gift cards, unless a gift card is what gives mental relief
- Practical drops — toilet paper, dish soap, snacks, diapers, fresh fruit
- Gifts that see the person, not just the role (meal gift cards for after returning home, a massage, skincare, cozy pajamas, or honestly, a nap)
It takes a village—through illness, through postpartum, through all the invisible caregiving roles we don’t always name. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Caregiving is sacred work, and part of honoring that is letting yourself be held, too.
May you find rest, nourishment, sunlight, and people who care for you, even as you pour so much care into others. Those pockets for rest and self-care, small as they may be, to help you recharge when you most need it. x
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